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Where is real Arvind Katoch?

Life is a complex journey and it goes on becoming more complex as we go ahead with it. When I was a child I always wanted to become young as early as possible. I felt that young people have lot of power and they can take their independent decisions. I always wanted to take my all decisions myself; moreover I also wanted to become a self independent person. However in reality after being a young man today, life is turning me into a different personality which I never wanted myself to be? People’s expectations, family’s expectation, friend’s expectation, job’s expectation and relative’s expectation, all are making me to behave in some unexpected way, in a way which I never liked. This is a way which is more superficial and away from reality.

Due to this, my emotional feelings are getting killed and I am becoming more and more emotion less person, or simply a dead human. Many times, I have to put a false face on my face to make others happy. Many times I have to hide my feeling and emotion for not to hurt the feelings of other people. On the other hand people do not take care of my feelings. Some people take advantage of their position; some take advantage of their relation and some of their intelligence to make me fool. I do not want to say that everyone is bad but many people around me are doing this with me. They are only trying to make me fit in a place where they can take advantage from me. Everyone is looking for his advantage by using me. Some want money from me, some want emotional support, some want praise, and some may want other things.

Sometimes it becomes very difficult to fit with all these expectations and all this give me a feeling of being used. I am not a usable thing and anybody does not have any right to change me. Today, I am not what I wanted to be? But I have no fault in it because I was not allowed to become my real self. Today I am trying to regain my lost powers and wisdoms with the help of my God Ganesha. Some people are taking these actions as revolt against them and feeling very awkward and are in their actions trying to threaten me to change the path. However, I am determined to get back my lost life and become a person who I wanted to be? (A real and simple person not in the eyes of others but in my own eyes)

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